Thoroughly Modern Millie Marquis Theater - May 2002 Review by John Kenrick(Please note: This review was written and posted weeks before Millie wonsix Tonys, including Best Musical. While I clearly flunk out as a fortune teller, I stand by theopinions expressed in this review. )Close – oh so close, but no cigar. And I daresay no Tonys, either.Creating a musical comedy takes an amazing amount of creativity, especiallyat a time when the form is so out of tune with popular culture. With the dazzlingrevival of 42nd Street still running a few blocks away, any so-so attemptpales by comparison with the real thing. Thoroughly Modern Millie is nota bad show.

1. Thoroughly Modern Millie Soundtrack

In fact, its talentedcreators have tried their damnedest and there are moments where they almostpull it off. The story of a small town girl arriving in 1920's New York, whereshe learns about love, battles a white slavery ring and becomes 'thoroughlymodern' has plenty of laughs and showcases some fine talent.But talent is not enough. Two shortcomings ultimately defeat thiswell intentioned show – a lack of creative imagination and several painfullymiscast leads. And without those, you cannot have a first-class musical comedy.The producers have clearly poured millions of dollars into the sets andcostumes – including that most expensive of theatrical accessories, a massiveturntable stage.

But not one of those sets or costumes is even vaguely memorable. Thesame is true of the new songs in the score. When the biggest musical moments are thefilm's title tune and Victor Herbert's 1910 hit 'I'm Falling in Love WithSomeone,' something is vitally wrong.I forgot Jeanine Tessori's melodies the second after I heard them, and althoughlyricist Dick Scanlan has fashioned a cute Gilbert & Sullivan parody(pity he didn't have the grace to give Gilbert credit inthe program), his other rhymes have no hint of wit.It was probably a bad idea to entrust a big, new musical to MichaelMayer, a fine dramatic director whose only previous musical credits were twoBroadway flops. Could anyoneelse have done a better job? He manages to create some hilarious moments,but as is always the case with new musicals, the director must bear the prime burden forMillie's failure. And any director who would accept such second-rate work inalmost every creative department has no business handling a multi-million dollarBroadway production.And how could any director have agreed to such weak casting in thelead roles?

Fans have always overlooked the film version's obvious shortcomingsbecause Julie Andrews sparkles as Millie. I'm not saying the part requires anestablished star, but it desperately needs a leading lady with genuinestar quality. Sutton Foster has looks, a socko belt voice, and takes one ofthe best pratfalls I have seen in years. But true star quality looks completelyeffortless – with Miss Foster, it is always clear just how hard she isworking to look like a star. She would probably be delightful in aregional or summer stock production, and may one day develop into more.

But atthis point, she has no business starring in a Broadway show.(By the way, the director has blatantly staged the curtain calls to almostforce the audience into a standing ovation for this girl - what a tacky,cynical gesture.)Gavin Creel is even worse off as Millie's carefree boyfriendJimmy. Creel doesn't just lack star quality – he is a total zero on stage, withless charisma than a wet feather boa. And if someone thought they were doing SherylLee Ralph a favor by casting her as the aging flapper Muzzy, they were sadlymistaken. This onetime Dreamgirl still looks stunning and can certainly hitsome audible notes, but whoever told her she could act was lying. I'll give herthis – she has memorized Carol Channing's dialogue with almost total accuracy.Although Angela Christian is far better as Miss Dorothy, the script never givesher much to work with – I hope to see her in better roles in the future.Happily for audiences, several deft supporting cast members provide enoughover-the-top moments to almost save Thoroughly Modern Millie.The gorgeous Marc Kudisch is brilliantly funny as Millie's super-square bossTrevor Graydon, capturing just the right comic book tone and turning bothof his big numbers into show stoppers. If you want to know what star quality is,just watch this man in action. His growing legion of fans will bedelighted with his efforts here.Speaking of stars, Harriet Harris, who has becomeone of the finest character actresses in theater and television today,is a shameless riot as Mrs.

Meers, the hotel ownerwho kidnaps orphaned guests and sends them off to a life of prostitution inChina. As her henchmen, Ken Leung and Francis Jue give a humandimension to two the most politically incorrect charactersto hit Broadway in the last fifty years. When they join Harris in a bilingualrendition of a classic period number (which I will not name here, lest it spoilanyone's fun), the result is easily the biggest laugh I've heard on Broadway thisseason. Nathan is so engaging as the spinsterish officemanager that her role should have been expanded – she is a comic gem.Special note: Rob Ashford's imaginative choreography is miles abovethe other physical aspects of this production. When he sends an army of typistsand office boys tapping around the stage in 'The Speed Test,' you getsome sense of what this show might have aspired to with comparable creativityin other departments.Last season's Producers, 42nd Street and Full Montyproved that there is still a tremendous audience for musical comedy.

WhileThoroughly Modern Millie is not altogether bad, at almost $100 a seat,it is nowhere near good enough.

John Williams 2. Max Steiner 3. Jerry Goldsmith 4. Elmer Bernstein 5. Bernard Herrmann 6.

Ennio Morricone 7. John Barry 8. Franz Waxman 9. Miklos Rozsa 10. Erich Wolfgang Korngold 11. James Horner 12. Alfred Newman 13.

Maurice Jarre 14. Dimitri Tiomkin 15. Henry Mancini 16. Danny Elfman 17. Nino Rota 18.

Hans Zimmer 19. Alex North 20. Howard Shore 21. Randy Newman 22.

Alan Silvestri 23. Thomas Newman 24. Dave Grusin 25. Victor Young 26. Michael Kamen 27. Basil Poledouris 28. James Newton Howard 29.

Lalo Schifrin 30. Bill Conti 31. Patrick Doyle 32.

Leonard Rosenman 33. Michel Legrand 34.

Hugo Friedhofer 35. David Raksin 36. Elliot Goldenthal 37. Georges Delerue 38.

Bronislau Kaper 40. Alan Menken and Howard Ashman 41. Herbert Stothart 42. Rachel Portman 43. Leonard Bernstein 44.

Ernest Gold 45. Richard M./Robert B. Sergei Prokofiev 47.

Malcolm Arnold 48. Aaron Copland 49. David Arnold 50. Charles Chaplin. Ilayaraja 52. William Walton 53.

Ralph Vaughan-Williams 54. Laurence Rosenthal 55. Ron Goodwin 56.

Marc Shaiman 57. David Newman 58. Mark Isham 59. Bruce Broughton 60. Jerry Fielding 62. Quincy Jones 63.

John Morris 64. Richard Rodney Bennett 65. Trevor Jones 66. Burt Bacharach 68.

Randy Edelman 69. Marvin Hamlisch 70. Philip Glass 72. Jerome Moross 73. Gabriel Yared 74. Joe Hisaishi 75. Georges Auric 76.

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Johnny Green 77. Alexandre Desplat 78.

George Fenton 79. Michael Giacchino 80. Wojciech Kilar 81. John Debney 82. Michael Nyman 83.

Christopher Young 84. Francis Lai 85. Harry Gregson-Williams 86. Giorgio Moroder 87. Harold Faltermeyer 88.

John Corigliano 89. Carter Burwell 90. Akira Ifukube 91. Graeme Revell 92. Angelo Badalamenti 93. Mark Mancina 94. David Shire 95.

Thoroughly Modern Millie Soundtrack

Jack Nitzsche 96. Andre Previn 97. Marco Beltrami 98. John Ottman 99. Mikis Theodorakis 100. John Carpenter.